Demons ~ we all have them ~ memories of the past that tend to resurface every now and then without notice or probable cause. There’s no logical reason that these ghosts tend to bury themselves in the subconscious and show their ugly faces. On the other hand, spiritually speaking, it makes total sense. The enemy attacks each of us through our thoughts, especially when it’s time to do God’s work. For the last couple of days, I found myself in a deep, dark place emotionally. Something happened within the last few months that also caused old demons to resurface. It was within the family, so the hurt was intense, just as it was a long time ago. When someone you trust betrays you, considering the source doesn’t make it hurt any less. Others see it going on and you wonder why no one stands up and defends you, leaving you feeling alone.
Now that Mama’s passed away, I don’t have that rock to talk to who gave me comfort, making the emptiness inside overwhelming.
Throughout these last two months, there have been a few family members who have talked with me and guided me. At one point, someone said, “It’s not my fight.” True, it wasn’t, but I didn’t have what it took this time. This comment came to mind the other night and my feelings went from feeling alone to the question, “Whose fight is it?” Conclusion: God’s. See, I didn’t ask for all of this to happen and am a firm believer that God has directed my life.
In fact, the other day there was a girl at work that shared a traumatic event in her younger years and how it affects her still. My first question was, “Have you forgiven this person?” Oh my, these words rang out loud last night as I was sitting on the front porch, drinking coffee and watching the thunderstorm.
As I sat there, I started talking with God for the first time within these dark hours. I told Him that I do forgive them for what they did, but it still hurts. I also told Him I was giving these battles to Him to fight. A few tears and a few hours later, I felt peace for the first time in 48 hours. Before the night was over, I went back on the porch and the first four lines of a poem came to me. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was God talking, so I grabbed pen and paper. He always tends to talk to me when I’m finally silent; it was 3:30 a.m. and my world was still. This was more confirmation of the verse Psalm 46:10: “Be still and know that I am God…”
I consider this poem a letter from God, not just to me but for anyone who has dealt or still is dealing with these demons. May it give you a sense of peace and comfort.
Rise up and claim your victory!
The day is not yet done,
You’re not defeated, just feeling weak,
There’s a battle to be won!
The scars will heal and remind you
How strong you were this day,
Overcoming trials against all odds,
Nothing gets in your way.
Rise up and claim your victory!
These nightmares of your past
Haunt you, scare you, but never forget
Nothing is meant to last.
The pain is felt and your heart pounds hard,
Caught up in the waves of the storm.
Hold on with might, hold on with hope,
For tomorrow comes a new morn.
Rise up and claim your victory!
Claim it in His name!
Open yourself to feel the wings of His angels,
Watch the raging sea become tame.
Quit fighting your battles all alone,
Let Him fight these demons for you.
Lie down and rest, give it all to Him,
This simple task is by far the hardest to do.
Rise up and claim His victory!
When you called, He calmed the seas.
He healed the scars and dried the tears,
Humbly thank Him while on your knees.
Life goes on, today will be forgotten,
You’ll live each day doing what you will.
Remember He is always there for you.
He claimed victory when crucified on that hill.
DeVaughn Rosendahl
9/4/2014
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
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