As I wait for an answer on my disability application, our finances get tighter and tighter. I called my attorney and was told that there was a small amount I could bring in and it wouldn’t affect the case. There was a restaurant that was thinking about hiring me to prepare the carryout bags. Once they realized that Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night were out of the question due to my commitment to the church choir, I was not what they needed. Anywhere I went I was not able to lift certain amounts and I stuck to my guns about the time I have set aside for worshipping God. It didn’t bother me at all that things didn’t work out because of me sticking to my guns about my prior commitments to the choir, although having to admit what I am not able to do has torn me apart yet again.
Having limitations after being independent my whole life has been, and still is, quite a daily struggle. I have always been able to do whatever it took to make ends meet and get the bills paid. Now, my whole life is twisted 180 degrees. Accepting that I have to file for disability was hard enough, let alone continuing to try to explain invisible disabilities to others. I don’t mind explaining; what I do mind is people judging what they don’t understand. My qualifications are off the chart between college degrees and previous job experiences. With our finances as stressed as they are, and with me unable to take jobs that my qualifications open up for me, I truly look in the mirror and wonder why.
So ~ the question boils down to this: what can I do? Well, yes, I am disabled. As the title also reads, “yet abled.” I am able to continue to put my faith in Jesus. I am able to worship His name and call on Him for the comfort I need through these emotional dark moments. I am able to witness to others how great our God is with the disabilities as a part of my life. I am able to share my experiences with you, praying that it may touch at least one of you.
Yes, I am disabled, but definitely abled as well!
Remember Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.”
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
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