Category Archives: Comparison

Who Do You Listen To?

In March I pinched a nerve and was laid up for quite a while. Only recently was I able to go back to work and only light duty for 3-4 hours at a time. I am happy because I’m finding that each day I can do a little more without bad pain! Praise God! My first day back was great! I felt like I came home seeing familiar faces. There were new faces as well but it was great seeing everyone again. Our GM passed away in July and it was the first time I worked without him. He was wonderful at what he did and who he was. So, here I go back happy to see everyone and anxious to get back into the swing of things. Needless to say, the swing wasn’t what I was familiar with. Of course, there’s always some drama in every workplace. I got bombarded with so much just a short amount of time back I didn’t know who to believe! As always, I sat back and watched and let the truth unfold.

Just this experience made me think of life itself. We all have those “voices” that tell us right from wrong ~ but which one do we listen to? Do we justify our actions and words by telling ourselves lies or by convincing ourselves that it’s not really that “wrong” (whatever ‘that’ is)? These are some powerful questions for all of us, definitely worth taking time to think about.

Recently, I was counseling someone and spoke about finding strength and peace in God and His word. She mentioned she had a Bible app and devotionals. All of that is great ~ but, my first instruction was to get rid of the technology and pick up the Book. Yes, you read correctly. Many times over we find ourselves so caught up with technology that we listen constantly to others on videos, their thoughts, etc. Pick up the Bible itself, hold it close to you. There’s something supernatural that happens every time I pick up the Bible itself; then more so by reading it.

I want to urge everyone to take the time away from what everyone else is saying and listening to ‘their’ thoughts and words. Pick up the Bible and let God speak to you; especially in today’s world with so many wrong teachings of His word. The Bible has answers for every question about what you need to do when you have questions. You may not like the answer but it’s there. We always ask other people what to do, what they believe, etc. and yet He is the last one that is turned to for answers and guidance instead of being the first one we should go to. So, in closing I ask you ~ who do YOU listen to?

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

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To Be or Not To Be

Famous quote ~ “To be or not to be..” ~ my friends, that IS the question of the day. Lately I have experienced a lot of tragic circumstances in my life, the main being the passing of my mother. I still tend to pick up the phone to call her. Especially on these days that the walls of life seem to feel as if they’re caving in. Yes, I miss her and especially talking with her and getting advice from her; yet, the answers come to me as if she were on the end of the phone ~ always pointing me in one direction ~ God and His Word.

Yes, to be or not to be, it’s all up to me ~ and you. First, let’s take this in the mild top layer, success and happiness. It is totally up to us as individuals whether or not we will be successful and happy. To rely on someone else for either is a mild form of either ignorance or stupidity. Was that blunt and to the point? Yes. Does that make it not true? No. I have to continuously remind myself when I start feeling bummed that it’s up to me to make myself happy. Yes, there are those “low” days and sometimes phases that no matter how hard we try, for some reason we’re feeling bummed. Answer: pray it away. If not for yourself, pray for someone else. Repeat until all better. LOL. Sounds simple, it is. See, there was a time where I hated being alone and one particular night really stands out. I was dating someone who was agnostic and I didn’t want him to leave because I just felt so alone. His response before leaving, “If what you believe is true, you’re never alone.” Wow!!! That truly hit home! Why? Because it is the truth!!! A lot of times our unhappiness comes from the ‘feeling’ of being alone. Put on some good upbeat music, after praying of course, and start dancing, cleaning, whatever may take your mind off of how you ‘feel’ for it’s just that ~ a feeling; and feelings come and go. Tomorrow’s another day.

As always, everything has it’s layers. Let’s take a look at our Spiritual life. To be or not to be an every day Christian ~ yes, that choice is always up to me, and you. What does that mean? Have mercy people, open up your Bibles and read what that means! Loving and forgiving others, giving to those who are in need, not judging others; and the list goes on. Now, some people think that there’s so much you can’t do if you’re a Christian and living a Christian lifestyle. Again, read the Word ~ if you look closely you’ll find there’s a whole lot more do’s than there aren’t don’ts; so if you spend your time doing the do’s you don’t have time to even think about the don’ts. Ever feel like your life isn’t ‘exciting’? Go ahead, start walking everyday with Jesus and get ready for the ride!

Digging down deep now. Let’s take a look at our home lives as spouses. Our marriage, to be or not to be. “Things just aren’t like they used to be.” Nope, sure not. People grow up, have children, responsibilities and all of a sudden there’s the feeling of “I don’t have a life.” My friends, yes you do. That IS life! Satan continuously attacks in the home putting thoughts of what we’re “doing without” and our fleshly desires and he’s good at it. You have to realize it for what it really is. All of us have a tendency at some point or another of bringing up the past when disagreeing. Stop it! Satan wants you to look at the past so you can’t even believe in a wonderful future that God has in store! We’re human. We have flaws and we make mistakes. In 1 Corinthians 13 there is a verse that specifically states, and I’m paraphrasing, that love does not keep count of wrongs. Look it up! That’s God’s instructions! So, at this point we have a choice when we feel like all hope for our marriage is gone: our way or God’s way. To bring this “Christian” lifestyle and thoughts into our marriage will make your decision whether this marriage is to be or not to be.

Yes, we need to look back once in a while so we don’t continue to make the same mistakes. At the same time, don’t pitch a tent and camp there ~ there’s too much of a future ahead of you and you don’t want to miss out on what God has in store for us! God loves you and forgives you daily, show this love to others, especially within your own family. In every aspect of your life you have a choice. To be or not to be ~ you decide.

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

Identity Crisis!!!

I don’t know about the rest of you but lately I am going through some serious identity crisis issues! It really boils down to my life changing from being able to live doing anything I put my mind to, to a life of hardly being able to do anything. There’s a big difference in being born with some disabilities than having them occur later in life.

Within the course of my life I have accomplished most anything I put my mind to. Let’s look at the list: President’s Physical Fitness Award, Beta Club, Honor Roll, 1st chair 1st clarinet in band, majorette, A.S. in Computer Programming, B.S. in Biology/Chemistry with a 3.924 GPA, worked in accounting, legal secretary, owned a bookkeeping business, traveled playing piano, recorded CDs, music director for Anni in Theatre, EMT, even a black jack dealer! The list actually goes longer if I look at smaller stuff. Not to mention mother and wife and now Grandma. Hmmm, with this list one would kinda’ wonder where someone could feel insecure and lost? I lost my capability to do most everything overnight. I am finding it hard to be content with “just being”. Since I have played the piano since the age of 5 my self-esteem has always relied on my accomplishments. I have always had a lust for life and living it to its fullest ~ now to find myself spending most of my time sitting watching life go by and not being able to “live” as I once knew life. It can leave one feeling dead while they’re alive.

I think everyone has had this empty feeling from one degree to another. It’s not something that you have to have disabilities to relate to. The feeling of just merely existing. Why does this happen? What causes this? How do we conquer this feeling? Oh yeah ~ like there’s a simple answer to these questions!

One thing we all tend to do is to allow our identity to be what our job is, what car we drive, the income we make, our abilities, etc. And yet, it’s ignorant for us to continually think this way as Christians. One thing I am learning is just how useless I really am. This blanket statement is really for everyone though ~ without God we ARE useless. As Christians our identity is being a child of God, our abilities and everything else are gifts. So, why do we allow ourselves to get hung up in everything else? We’re human. We’re all Peter. Think back to when he was walking on the water. As long as he kept his eye on Jesus he was fine. Once he took his eyes off Jesus he started sinking. That’s basically the answer to all questions in my opinion.

In closing I would like to remind you to keep your eyes on Jesus. If you start feeling bad about your life, your accomplishments, etc. just remember ~ Jesus, the Son of God, came down in human form and was a true humble servant. Should we think we should be more than that? When we get to the core of our lives, we are not here for us, it is not all about us ~ we are here for Him and His purpose.

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

Comparisons

How many times do we continuously, whether conscious or subconscious, compare ourselves to others? It is so human to do especially in this competitive world we live in today. The sad part is when our self esteem is affected by this. Being a woman I can so relate to this!!! Peter is always getting onto me about comparing myself to someone else when I see their figure, smile, and the list goes on. Once again I am reminded that God has made each of us the way we are for a reason and we need to be happy with ourselves. That doesn’t mean not to do the best you can to improve but it does mean don’t compare yourself to someone else.

Now since we’ve touched comparing on the outside and how that can affect your self esteem let’s bring it a little deeper, shall we? How about how we think of whether we are successful or not? Once again, another comparison. Usually people will consider themselves successful by the amount of money and/or assets they have. Even in that sense how do you compare your success? For example, do you compare where you are this year compared to last year, last month, last week, etc.? We need to be careful with how we compare our success but especially by what standards as well. Compare yourself to Will Smith and his success – yeah, well – you see where I’m going with that. As long as you know at the end of the day you have done your best that is success no matter what ‘category’ you think you’re in.

As always there are layers so now we’ll touch real deep ~ thrashing deep. How many people are glorifying themselves as Christians by comparing themselves to others and talking about how they aren’t “stand-up” Christians? There are many that proclaim to be a Christian because they say they believe in God and know the Scriptures. OK, my turn to compare. Satan believes in God AND knows the Scriptures so now, compare yourself to that thought and what makes you stand out differently? Oh, I get it, you go to church. My friends, going to church doesn’t make you a Christian or open the doors to Heaven. Does it help? Of course! It always helps to surround yourself with like-minded people. Also, we are instructed to be around other Christians worshipping. Just always remember though, we are instructed NOT to judge others and where they stand.

You want a real comparison? Compare yourself as a Christian to Jesus. Are you forgiving? Do you love others unconditionally? That list definitely goes on. Being more Christ-like is a goal but also unattainable for we are human and have many flaws. For improvements we compare ourselves to Him but never get discouraged when you do. You can also compare where you are now in your Spiritual walk to where you used to be for a closer look at yourself. Just make sure you’re honest when you do because He already knows the truth.

In closing, I urge you to only compare yourself to you, where you were and who you were to now. Don’t make the constant mistake of comparing yourselves to those of the world or even those you consider Christians. Focus on you for you are the one who will answer to Jesus about your life. One last thought ~ if you truly want to feel and be successful, make a difference in another’s life. Then you have succeeded.

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

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