Category Archives: General

I MISS ME

 

Have you ever looked into the mirror and felt like you were looking at a stranger? I sure have recently. Since the fire I have had a pinched nerve on and off. I went to speak on Mother’s Day weekend and by the time I got back I could hardly walk without pain. I had a new doctor and my first appointment was the end of May. She sent me for multiple exams, MRIs etc. Short and sweet the night of the fire L1 was compressed to 50%, degenerative arthritis, bulging discs and osteoporosis. OK, so where to from here? She sent me to a pain management team. The first doctor was to assess and see if it could be managed just with medication. He gave me medication to help manage the nerve pain, set me up for a nerve conduction test and a consult with another doctor for spinal injections.

 

I went to get the nerve conduction test only to find out the sensory part of the sciatic nerve on the left side is damaged. If you’re like me the following question was “How do we fix the problem?” It was further explained that the nerve is comprised of two channels, sensory and pain. The sensory part senses temperature, pressure etc. : all I had left was the pain. He politely told me nothing can be done except manage the pain with meds and injections. If I stand on my feet for work or sit too long (desk job or traveling) I will be in pain again.

 

Those of you who have kept up with my blogs and/or read my book already know before this I had already become disabled due to some medical issues and had to learn to like myself for what I could still do. What I could still do has once again changed. So yes…I miss me.

 

I miss playing the piano and walking as far as I wanted/needed to. I miss being independent and not having to ask for help. I miss being able to take care of my home without extreme pain. I truly miss working. I miss being active like I have been my whole life. I miss me.

 

I realized the day I was told this there was a part of me I missed even more. Somehow, a distance had come between me and God. I used to have such a close relationship nothing could shake my world up. This part of me not only did I miss ~ but had to get back. Fortunately, unlike the sciatic nerve issue, this is something I can change. I confided in my new neighbor (earth angel) and Bob Stacy. Not only did God send messages through these people to me but they also prayed with and for me.

 

As I called a dear friend today and told her about the results she shared Joni’s radio show she heard the other day. Joni said that she fought with God for a while after being paralyzed from the neck down. She has been in a wheelchair for 50 years now. I love what was shared with me. Joni stated that if she had totally given up and completely turned away from God ~ then she would’ve lost it all.

 

This darkness is not shared only by a few but many. We all go through times that we don’t “feel” God’s closeness. Oddly enough that’s when the true tests come. It’s easy to keep the faith when we feel Him walking by our side; but, when we don’t feel Him there it’s way too easy to drift away.

 

At this moment, please take the time to look into the mirror. Is your spiritual life what is was? Where you want it to be? Do you miss you? Remember, our relationship with God is like being married. You don’t always “feel” in love but you know you love that person. Just because you don’t always “feel” close to God doesn’t mean he’s not right by your side. He’s always there…waiting for your hand to reach out.

 

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

 

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Strength in the Storm

Throughout Thanksgiving weekend so many thoughts went through my head and I started typing this blog as they came to me. Therefore, it may seem a little sporadic in its own way, but it is a mini version of the conversations between me and God over the last few days. I pray that you will enjoy your read and receive a blessing as well.

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How grateful I am for the many blessings God has given us. We ARE alive and throughout the devastation and losses, have had a chance to realize just how valuable each day is and to live it to its fullest.

It’s amazing how losing everything you own can create a sense of peace. It wasn’t until I was left with just the shirt on my back did this realization come to be. So many times in life we hold onto things that unknowingly weigh us down. Since the fire, our clothes now consist of donations and a few store-bought items. I now have just enough makeup for the day. Granted, I need a couple pair of earrings, necklaces, and a watch to complete a dress outfit ~ but at this point, I have what I need ~ and to think that it is still more than others out in this world.

By mid-life our home and life is cluttered with our past. Now, it’s always wonderful to have family heirlooms and pictures to look at of memories forgotten; yet; I am finding how great of an opportunity my husband and I have right now. Everything from before we met had to somehow create a oneness, which is hard to do when you both bring in so much baggage ~ physically and emotionally. At this point in our life, after seven years of marriage, we finally have the gift of being able to create “us” and come together creating that oneness we have both longed for.

The last month my prayer to God was for strength to endure and peace that passeth all understanding. I mourned over the loss of the Chihuahuas, but I didn’t ask why, I just held onto the fact that His plan is perfect, to spite how we feel. Some days when I didn’t feel I had a prayer I held onto my faith for survival. Day by day things got a little easier.

We are finally out of the hotel and into a rental house. I truly believe with every fiber of my being we were blessed with such a nice place and furniture due to our steadfastness in our faith. In James 1:2-4 we are told to praise God through our trials, and we did. The house? It’s a beautiful older, two-story home with a Victorian style. The insurance company rents the furniture and uses specific vendors. We were told it was like hotel furniture. So, at this point, we were clueless how everything was going to look, whether it was comfortable, etc. As the movers pulled furniture out piece by piece we once again saw God’s hand at work. The housewares girls came in and made the beds, setup the kitchen and bathrooms, made sure there was a decorative item and a photo in each room. They were so thorough in things you may need that they even brought things down to a plunger and measuring cup. God tells us to not worry about our daily needs, He will provide. It was overwhelming to see how He does provide when we hold onto our faith in Him throughout our storms.

I started writing this Thanksgiving Eve and now finishing the day after Thanksgiving. I must say it was one of the best Thanksgivings I have ever had. It wasn’t about the meal for we ate sandwiches while working some around the house. Our Thanksgiving was truly a day that we spent in awe of God’s greatness and being thankful for every small thing.

As Christians, we are always to give thanks to the Lord. This year made me think of how many times I may have said the words but this time ~ I was truly meaning every one of them. I sat in silence by myself a lot, feeling the peace I had prayed for; I looked around at how God provided for us ~ we truly had a day of Thanksgiving.

My friends, no matter your storm, hold onto your faith and leave everything in God’s hands and watch what He will do. Not only does He live up to His promises, but you can be an inspiration for those around who are watching you go through your storm.

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

 

The Last Time

I had started writing this 5 days ago and couldn’t bring myself to finish it. Hopefully, I can tonight. It starts out “two weeks ago” because that’s when I started writing it originally so I will leave it in its original timing. It may not flow as smoothly as others I have written but due to the chaos of the moment ~ it’s real.

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Two weeks ago, I was sitting out on the back porch with Nacho and Scooch, our Chihuahuas, enjoying the weather and some coffee. Little did I know it would be the last time I would cuddle with them, the last time I enjoyed sitting on the recliner on the porch, the last time….

I went inside about 6:35 p.m. (Monday, October 24th) waiting for some dear friends to drop me off a plate to eat. I was lying on the couch and heard the Chihuahuas on the porch but didn’t think much of it. It sounded like they were possibly going to start singing. Little did I know they were calling for help. About 5 minutes later I heard a big BOOM sound followed by a second one. I got off the couch and walked to my office only to see the back porch in flames. I ran to the door, opened the door only to realize it was totally engulfed with flames and the roof was beginning to fall in piece by piece. Momentarily I stood, unable to move, as I looked at the recliners, where I last saw the Chihuahuas, burning at a pace one could never imagine. I was looking where our babies lost their lives minutes earlier. 

At that point I knew that I had to do everything I could. I called 9-1-1 and neighbors were already outside calling as well. The fire was spreading quickly and time was running out. Against my neighbor’s wishes I ran back in to get our German Shepherds, Diamond and Zeus. I brought them through the garages to the front doors because people were already out there and could help get them. Diamond and I made it out the door with Zeus right with us. Once we got out I realized Zeus didn’t come. He had stayed in to try to save the Chihuahuas and making sure no one else was in the house. 

I was outside on the lawn bawling. My son ran to the house once someone got him and he told me there was too much smoke, he couldn’t go in. I had already lost my fur babies and couldn’t stand to lose Zeus. I called his breeder who immediately got prayers from all over with social media. About 20 minutes later a volunteer firefighter walked out with Zeus in his arms. He didn’t get burned but inhaled a lot of smoke. They immediately started oxygen treatments. 

As I sat on the lawn I couldn’t stop crying over the loss and kept screaming to get Zeus and my Daddy’s flag. So much hurt and pain traveling through every fiber of my being. I was covered in soot from going back in, coughing and having a hard time breathing. My husband got there as soon as possible. Our home, our memories, our fur babies….it was all gone within minutes. Yes, we were alive but stood there watching our life as we knew it burn to ashes. 

As soon as Zeus was conscious we rushed him to the emergency animal hospital where he spent 4 days with oxygen treatment, x-rays, etc. to make sure he was ok. God blessed us with such a wonderful vet who told us “no charge.”

It took about a week and a half, a lot of tears and prayers for the nightmares to go away. Every time I tried to sleep I could still here Scooch and Nacho barking, smelling the smoke, watching the flames that took their lives, the sounds of the roof as it was caving in behind me as I ran…over and over again.

Even though life does go on and we all have our memories, there’s always that part that wishes you could have just one more day. To cuddle more, to love more, to say things left unsaid, to get more hugs and kisses…

Amongst the grief and pain, not to mention tears, lies hope and faith for tomorrow ~ for what God has planned for our lives. The sadness is normal as is the grieving, but all our days must be lived in faith ~ faith that God’s got this. Turning over the pain and grief into His hands one day at a time.

So, if you’re finding yourself too busy to spend time with your fur babies, your children, your spouse, family, etc. slow down a little bit. They need your love and attention. You never know when that kiss and hug is…. the last time.

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it hone.

Lessons From a Dog

All throughout life we learn lessons. Some are taught from books but most of them seem to be from mistakes made; which in some cases makes the mistake worthwhile, as long as one did learn the lesson. Then there are those of us who seemed to not grasp it and made the same mistake over and over again (at least a few more times). One mistake I made within the last few months was not continuing to write.

In May I had received bad news regarding my Pomeranian mix, Bella. She was diagnosed with an extreme case of IVDD (spinal disease). The most we could do for a while was treat her with meds to keep her comfortable. Before we go any further ~ let me describe Bella for you. Physically she had the coloring and shape of a miniature German Shepherd. She didn’t have the usual Pomeranian tail. In reality, she barely had one at all, just a cute, little stub. Possibly due to this is why when she was happy she would wag the whole bottom half of her body while tap dancing on the floor. She was always “smiling”, friendly to other humans and dogs, and stole the heart of everyone who met her. Aside from that, she was my best friend. She kissed the tears from my eyes, cuddled next to me and felt the need to be my protector. As the head of the pack, she took care of everyone. Now you can imagine my Bella girl. On with the story…

For a couple months Bella seemed to be doing fine and needing only minimal medication. Here’s where God’s plan and His hand once again took control of my life. Through Facebook, I had started a prayer chain for a wonderful boy, Odin. I was blessed to meet Debbi Willis, breeder of working German Shepherds, Stone Creek Shepherds. We started talking due to Bella but had met because of Odin. Shortly down the road Peter got a beautiful, black German Shepherd, Diamond. Within 2 weeks God had dealt the hand and Debbie brought one of her service dogs, Zeus, to me for a new home. What a beautiful, big boy he is! Zeus and Bella hit it off from the very first day and became buddies. Within another week we realized Bella had given Zeus approval for taking care of me ~ changing of the guards. The next two weeks those two were practically joined at the hip. I felt my world was complete. Diamond was once again in the house with Peter and I had Zeus and Bella. My friends, hold onto those special moments….

A few days later the Chihuahuas also joined the pack inside and everyone was feeling their place out. Wednesday night, I brought Bella out on the porch because she didn’t care to join everyone; instead, she laid on her favorite couch. I was feeling emotional about the reality that one day I would have to put her down. She started licking my tears and gave me more love that night than ever before. I was thanking God for my blessings and my Bella girl. As I spoke with Debbi I told her it would be easier for me if something happened to her than to hope I know when the right time is. God heard me.

Thursday morning Peter woke me up telling me we had to take Bella and put her down. To not go into the details I can tell you God did hear my words; something happened and I took her to the vet. She remained stoic and leaning on me. As she was crossing over the Rainbow Bridge, I was there telling her it was ok ~ she could go ~ Zeus will take care of me ~ I love you ~ it’s ok…

We took her home and the dogs watched intensely from the porch as Peter buried her. For two days we have all mourned, especially me and Zeus. I looked at Peter that night and told him “Babe, we need to learn from this. We’re always so busy taking care of things we keep putting “us” off. It could’ve been one of us.”

The more I thought about Bella the more I realized that she taught me some very important life lessons:

  1. Always smile through the pain.
  2. No matter how silly it looks, always have a smile and a little dance when your man comes home.
  3. Kiss away the tears of your loved ones.
  4. Always be friendly and protective of all.
  5. Live in the moment. Love in the moment. Let your life make a difference.

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

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Following Orders

It’s amazing how from the day we’re born until we gasp for our last breath we seem to always be taking orders from someone. As a child we take orders from our parents, maybe older siblings, teachers, etc. Then we think we’re out of the house and can do what we want. NOT! If you go to college you’re taking orders from professors when each assignment and exam will be due. Once in the work world, always taking orders from bosses. Then one day we all dream of the day of bliss ~ marriage ~ which once again leads to what? Taking orders. Then life becomes even more twisted when you’re giving orders as a parent, only praying that your guidance will make a difference.

Following orders is the hard part of life. In the military there is a specific chain of command and everyone, no matter the rank, is always taking orders from someone else. Respect is shown to those in authority due to protocol, whether you agree with them or not. It’s a shame that in every day life people tend to lose that aspect of showing respect to those in charge. Then again, there’s always consequences when one doesn’t follow orders; not just in the military.

Take a look back at Jonah and where He ended up by not following orders. Just a small example but it makes the point. In the Bible we are given guidelines as Christians but do we follow them? Are we praying a lot? Are we in the Word a lot? Oh, and then what do we do when God does call on us? Are we obedient as Abraham was or do we run like Jonah?

In my book, “The Naked Truth”, in one of the chapters I touched on answering God’s call and how vital it is to do so. There are three people who have impacted my Christian life because they did answer His call ~ Rick and Tanya Curren, and Bob Stacy. If they had not answered His calling, I tremble at the thought where my life would be now. Not only did they talk with me about my spiritual walk, but were all very encouraging about me writing the book and following God’s call for my life

As a pianist, after you perform you hear by applause if people enjoyed your performance. As an author, sometimes you hear what people think but it’s few and far between. It was because of lack of response there has been a dead space in my writing and blogging. I was beginning to wonder if I misunderstood God’s calling ~ until this last weekend on Valentine’s Day.

I spoke at Ardenwoods in Arden, SC. In January I spoke there and took copies of my book to give to the congregation as they had become family to me. Saturday, the 13th, I received a phone call asking for more books and if I would bring them for those who weren’t there to receive one. That in itself put me on cloud nine with all of the compliments that followed in the voice mail. Of course, I was happy to take some more! I spoke Sunday morning on God’s love for us and how we show our love for God. Afterwards, the gentleman who plays the organ started talking privately with me. He’s 94 years old and cancer now has hospice visiting him once a week. He talked with me about what he’s going through and stated he wasn’t ready because he wasn’t assured of his salvation. We spoke for a while, Bob Stacy joined in and tears were flowing. We prayed and then we all went to brunch. I was informed then that they have been trying to talk with him about his salvation for 12 years, yet I made the difference. To be blunt about it, God used me as His vessel.

What I’m trying to emphasize is how important it really is to follow God’s orders when he calls on you. If I had not written this book, started speaking and gave some away, this wonderful man may still not be assured about his salvation in his final days. Seeing how God works using just one willing person to help someone else in their spiritual walk was truly a blessing. Others have affected mine and I saw the difference ~ but to think that God could use me? He can use anyone!

I shared this with you to remind you how much of a difference you can make in someone’s life. You don’t have to be an author or speaker, just be you ~ the perfect you that God created. When you’re feeling that tug to speak to someone about Jesus, don’t be afraid for the Holy Spirit will guide you. We are all witnesses and it’s everyone’s job, not just the pastor, to be talking with others about Jesus. I urge you to look beyond yourself, step out of your comfort zone ~ make a difference today.

This is Devaughn ~ bringing it home.

I’ll Be Home for Christmas

The song “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” was released by Bing Crosby in 1943 and was written in perspective of the soldiers serving in WWII. This one song touched me more than normal one particular Christmas. I was living in North Carolina and couldn’t afford to go home. That previous August I saw my son before he was to be deployed to Iraq. I couldn’t go home and my son was at war ~ I couldn’t even listen to the song without heartfelt tears streaming down my face. Since then, every Christmas when I hear this song my heart goes out to everyone who can’t be home for Christmas, no matter what the reason.

The Christmas season is one of joy, festivities, families get together and don’t forget ~ exchanging of gifts. Ah, but it is really? Amongst all of the hustle and bustle most people tend to forget the true celebration of Christmas ~ the birth of Jesus Christ our Lord. The greatest gift we have ever received was this child born in a manger who came for no other reason than to save us all. He took off His crown and came to be born a human man ~ man and God in one. Born a child of a mere carpenter, He was born a King. It is truly remarkable when you think about it ~ Jesus being born in a stable yet the King of the world. He left His home to come to ours ~ to give us the gift of salvation.

As Christmas nears and everyone is considering all of the gifts, both bought and what you will receive, please take the time to remember the greatest gift of all ~ the birth of Jesus Christ for our salvation. If you have not taken the opportunity to ask Jesus into your heart, please click on contact me, send me a message and let me speak with you. If throughout the hustle and bustle of life you have been away for a while, give Jesus the greatest gift you could ~ pray and talk with Him and tell Him “I’ll be home for Christmas.”

May God Bless you and your family throughout this joyous season! Merry Christmas!

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

It’s Not Logical!

Many times over we as humans need something to make logical sense in our pea brains. Yet, the two major aspects I find in the Bible spoken of over and over doesn’t have any logic ~ faith and love. To “walk in faith” of an unknown God is held very true to my heart, yet doesn’t necessarily ‘fit’ into the logical realm of things. Love ~ it’s never logical! Ask yourself why you fell in love with your spouse. Again, there’s no logic to a feeling that you know with every fiber of your being to be real.

Sadly enough, many people choose to disbelieve in God because of the logical thought process. No matter how much people can debate back and forth on evidence, it isn’t logical. Even as a Christian I can say it isn’t logical and I DO believe and have faith! (I also love my husband. Hahaha!) In fact, when we met he wasn’t working so if I would have gone by ‘logic’ we never would have gotten married. When people asked me why I said it was because he brought me coffee. But, there was a connection with him I had never had with anyone else for no logical reason, yet it was there. At that time I let my walls down and got bit by the love bug. I had loved before and found I had never been ‘in love’ until that point in time.

As a Christian, I’ve always believed but it wasn’t until I broke my back and was alone on top of a mountain that I once again, let whatever walls down I wasn’t aware I had up, and got to know Jesus ~ I mean really have a relationship with Him. Some may say it was because I needed something to cling onto. Well, it remained the same once I got off my back ~ literally! We all go through spurts where our spiritual walk is better than at other times. I know I have since then and yet I still have that deep love for Him. Logical? You answer it.

I do know that many times over I giggle about the “illogical” aspects. Hear me out. An entity to speak words and the universe is created ~ and to top that one off, He already knows our history and future before creation! We are to walk in faith and believe in someone we haven’t seen or touched. OK, from the outside looking in logic has no place in belief. That IS where faith comes in. The last half of John 20:29 says “…Blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed.” (MSG) Reading that assures me that I AM BLESSED!

I will close with this one statement. For those who believe no explanation is necessary; for those who don’t believe, no explanation is possible.
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

NOW AVAILABLE!

Just to let everyone know The Naked Truth’s release date is September 29th. There’s great news though! You can purchase a copy or an e-book at Tate Publishing’s website! Just click below and order yours today. I pray that you will be blessed as you travel your journey.

Tate Publishing ~ The Naked Truth

At This Moment

I am finding when I write blogs or even chapters in my book it normally relates to something going on at a particular moment. Whether it is something in my life or something I have read on FaceBook that triggers a thought process, it is usually a moment by moment thing. As I write I feel inspired by God what He wants me to share. Sometimes it is my own lessons to be learned and I share with others who may be going through something similar and sometimes it’s because of what someone else is going through. Life….moment by moment. Where are you at this moment?

I read today where someone I know was feeling depressed and discouraged; as if no one cared at all. This feeling I can relate to as I know that everyone else can as well. We’ve all been there. It isn’t really a pity party, if you will. It’s a feeling of emptiness and loneliness; physically alone and spiritually empty. Then the tears begin to fall. Some consider that weak, I don’t. When tears begin to fall it’s because we have reached a point of letting go and then God is allowed to step in and do His work. I have felt this a few times within the last year simply because I no longer have my mother to talk to. I know my husband and other family members love me but there’s an emptiness within me without Mama.

I write about this today because I don’t know how many others may be feeling this way. First, a little reassurance ~ you are not alone. We have all felt this way. Second, yes, as you’ve heard many times over, Satan attacks you at your most vunerable times and would like for you to “think” that no on cares. Ah, the father of lies strikes again. Your heavenly Father is always with you. There are times when we don’t “feel” His presence, but He is still there. Feelings come and go ~ you just need to allow this one to pass on by. The song “Tomorrow” says it beautifully ~ “The sun will come out, tomorrow…” and it always does. Even if it is raining the sun still exists just like the Son is always with you.

As a final note ~ you may feel like no one cares but think of the cross. My friend, that is love. Jesus died a horrific death because He loves you and cared for your salvation. When He was alone on the cross He thought of you. In His Word we are told that He came for the brokenhearted. Hold on….pray. Know that you are loved more than you could ever imagine.

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

Investments

I am finding that people in our society today have become more materialistic than I have ever imagined. For example, it’s “cool” if you invest any money in a new car but take the same amount and invest it into your health, your smile, etc. and you’re considered foolish. Every dime we make is invested one way or another and we choose whether it is going to be something to benefit us for the long haul or to satisfy a fleshly craving. Of course, who doesn’t want the brand new car and/or European vacation and/or two week cruise?! We all want these things! As I get older I realize that where my money is invested is more and more important. Almost a toss up sometimes ~ be cool for a little while with newer things or be healthier longer. I choose the not so popular ~ healthier.

As we have also always heard time is money so how we invest our time is even more valuable than we consider. Do you spend too much time on the internet or Facebook? I know I have gotten caught up in it a few times. So, as always, let’s look a little deeper. Are you investing any time at all in your spiritual growth? How about checking the Word in the mornings to see what message God has for you BEFORE you check your emails, Facebook, etc. We are all guilty of this and can all use some improvement. How much time is spent talking with Jesus in your daily life? Do you pray often or more like an emergency room Christian ~ only when there’s a crisis. Prayer every day is really preventive medicine ~ helping our spiritual health.

I am going to encourage all of you throughout December to start incorporating Christ into your every day life and not just on Christmas. Let’s start little by little changing some of our routine to include Him. By starting this now, more like tomorrow being December 1st, by the time the new year arrives we’re already there! New Year ~ New You!

This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.

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