Blog Archives
Damaged
How many of you like to shop second hand stores? I know I do!!! Especially the thrift stores that still has the tags on brand name items, there’s just a minute flaw that hardly anyone could see! A lot of times the truth behind the saying “Another man’s garbage is another man’s treasure” comes into play as we hit garage sales, estate sales, consignment stores, etc. Now, there’s two different views that go with this ~ one is the shock that someone would actually get rid of something so wonderful and the other is the sales associate who can’t believe we’d want something with flaws. If we didn’t cherish “things” with flaws how can we love another human being? We’re all full of flaws!
As I’m heading towards the end of my manuscript to be submitted I realize that a large portion of my book I have put myself out there for everyone to know my mistakes, heartaches, flaws, etc. Once someone asked me why I would do that, let everyone know all about me. Well, I answered honestly. I just told him/her that my mother already knows everything about me and still loves me so what do I have to be afraid of? God still loves me!
Many times over so many people have gone through so much in their lives they consider themselves “damaged goods.” I know I did for a long time. Even though I didn’t say it, my subconscious was continuously reminding me how horrible I was because of all of my mistakes. Subconscious? More like the enemy! In a conversation with Rick Curren, III, I was asked “When did you make that conscious decision that you don’t deserve better?” That really hit home. I mean, I really had to look hard in my rear view mirror and realize when I did. It wasn’t a matter of “if”, my life already showed I “did.” Then came the reminder from my roots ~ Jesus thought I was worth it ~ why didn’t I?
One last thought ~ if Jesus thought we were worth dying for then why do we ever have low self-esteem? He knew we were damaged and yet gave his life for us! So, the next time you doubt whether you’re good enough, look at your past to evaluate who you are, etc. remember, Jesus loved you before you were born. He died so you could have salvation, He knew exactly every mistake you’d make and all of your flaws yet you were still worth dying for. You were worth it to Him.
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
To Be or Not To Be
Famous quote ~ “To be or not to be..” ~ my friends, that IS the question of the day. Lately I have experienced a lot of tragic circumstances in my life, the main being the passing of my mother. I still tend to pick up the phone to call her. Especially on these days that the walls of life seem to feel as if they’re caving in. Yes, I miss her and especially talking with her and getting advice from her; yet, the answers come to me as if she were on the end of the phone ~ always pointing me in one direction ~ God and His Word.
Yes, to be or not to be, it’s all up to me ~ and you. First, let’s take this in the mild top layer, success and happiness. It is totally up to us as individuals whether or not we will be successful and happy. To rely on someone else for either is a mild form of either ignorance or stupidity. Was that blunt and to the point? Yes. Does that make it not true? No. I have to continuously remind myself when I start feeling bummed that it’s up to me to make myself happy. Yes, there are those “low” days and sometimes phases that no matter how hard we try, for some reason we’re feeling bummed. Answer: pray it away. If not for yourself, pray for someone else. Repeat until all better. LOL. Sounds simple, it is. See, there was a time where I hated being alone and one particular night really stands out. I was dating someone who was agnostic and I didn’t want him to leave because I just felt so alone. His response before leaving, “If what you believe is true, you’re never alone.” Wow!!! That truly hit home! Why? Because it is the truth!!! A lot of times our unhappiness comes from the ‘feeling’ of being alone. Put on some good upbeat music, after praying of course, and start dancing, cleaning, whatever may take your mind off of how you ‘feel’ for it’s just that ~ a feeling; and feelings come and go. Tomorrow’s another day.
As always, everything has it’s layers. Let’s take a look at our Spiritual life. To be or not to be an every day Christian ~ yes, that choice is always up to me, and you. What does that mean? Have mercy people, open up your Bibles and read what that means! Loving and forgiving others, giving to those who are in need, not judging others; and the list goes on. Now, some people think that there’s so much you can’t do if you’re a Christian and living a Christian lifestyle. Again, read the Word ~ if you look closely you’ll find there’s a whole lot more do’s than there aren’t don’ts; so if you spend your time doing the do’s you don’t have time to even think about the don’ts. Ever feel like your life isn’t ‘exciting’? Go ahead, start walking everyday with Jesus and get ready for the ride!
Digging down deep now. Let’s take a look at our home lives as spouses. Our marriage, to be or not to be. “Things just aren’t like they used to be.” Nope, sure not. People grow up, have children, responsibilities and all of a sudden there’s the feeling of “I don’t have a life.” My friends, yes you do. That IS life! Satan continuously attacks in the home putting thoughts of what we’re “doing without” and our fleshly desires and he’s good at it. You have to realize it for what it really is. All of us have a tendency at some point or another of bringing up the past when disagreeing. Stop it! Satan wants you to look at the past so you can’t even believe in a wonderful future that God has in store! We’re human. We have flaws and we make mistakes. In 1 Corinthians 13 there is a verse that specifically states, and I’m paraphrasing, that love does not keep count of wrongs. Look it up! That’s God’s instructions! So, at this point we have a choice when we feel like all hope for our marriage is gone: our way or God’s way. To bring this “Christian” lifestyle and thoughts into our marriage will make your decision whether this marriage is to be or not to be.
Yes, we need to look back once in a while so we don’t continue to make the same mistakes. At the same time, don’t pitch a tent and camp there ~ there’s too much of a future ahead of you and you don’t want to miss out on what God has in store for us! God loves you and forgives you daily, show this love to others, especially within your own family. In every aspect of your life you have a choice. To be or not to be ~ you decide.
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
Where are You?
On June 7, 2014 I received a call I was not ready for ~ my mother passed away. It wasn’t as if it were a total shock for she was 93 years old and had lived a wonderful life. There just wasn’t a forewarning of her going to the hospital, getting worse ~ nothing. I received a phone call from my sister and she told me she had been at Mama’s all day, my only response during her pause was “OK. What’s up? Is anything wrong?” A silence came over the phone and then I heard those heartbreaking words ~ “Mama’s gone.” At that point I fell to my knees in tears as my sister spoke to me trying to help me through the phone line. Assuring words we all hear at this time “She’s in a better place” just didn’t matter at the moment. I am so grateful Peter, my husband, was here that day. I don’t think I could have made it without him. I called my son, my Pastor and friend, Bob Stacy and other family and friends so they would know. Within the next week me, Peter and my son, Marcus, made arrangements and travelled to Florida for the funeral only to turn around and come straight home. The two men in my life were there for me when it mattered the most.
I was expecting a funeral that would be about my mother but it wasn’t ~ it was about salvation. You see, my family meant the world to Mama and in her heart, so did their salvation and their walk with God. She truly lived a Christian life by example and anytime my life went astray she would always tell me I needed to get back into Church, have a long talk with God and get my life straight; not necessarily in that order either!
About a month and a half prior a girl came to my house and while we were talking she opened up to me all of her problems and issues in her life. My response was “So, how is your spiritual life?” This question was asked by Bob Stacy during our marital counseling and I never quite understood it until these last few months. I find myself asking people this question to help guide them back to God and His Word for answers and guidance.
I’m sure by now you are wondering what this has to do with my mother passing away. Nothing. But they do intertwine. I wasn’t prepared for the phone call even though I lived with Mama for a couple years and saw her health decline. Yes, it did help in the grieving for over those two years I periodically broke down as I saw that I was losing my mother. Here’s the question(s): Where are you? Are you prepared to meet Jesus? How’s your spiritual life these days? No, it doesn’t matter what church you were brought up in or belong to ~ how’s YOUR spiritual life? Are you talking with God? Are you in His Word? Are you seeking His guidance?
In closing I would like to remind everyone to take the time and look closely at your spiritual walk with an honest eye. Just as I was not prepared for the phone call, are you prepared for the Angels to blow their horns? If today was the day you would meet Jesus face to face ~ are you ready? Don’t just assume you are, make sure you are ~ know where you are.
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
Disabled yet Abled
As I wait for the answer from filing for disability our financial reigns get tighter and tighter. I called my attorney and was told that there was a small amount I could bring in and it wouldn’t affect the case. There was a restaurant that was thinking about hiring me to fix the carry out bags. Once they realized that Sunday morning and night and Wednesday night was out of the question due to my commitment to the church choir I was not what they needed. Anywhere I went I was not able to lift certain amounts and stuck to my guns about the time I have set aside for worshipping God. It didn’t bother me at all that things didn’t work out because of me sticking to my guns about my prior commitments to the choir; although, having to admit what I am not able to do has yet torn me apart again.
Having limitations after being independent my whole life has been, and still is, quite a daily struggle. I have always been able to do whatever it took to make ends meet and get the bills paid. Now, my whole life is twisted 180 degrees. Accepting that I have to file for disability was hard enough; much less to continue to have to try to explain to others about invisible disabilities. I don’t mind explaining; what I do mind is people judging what they don’t understand. My qualifications are off the chart between college degrees and previous job experiences. For financial stresses to be as they are and not being able to take the jobs offered to me because of my qualifications, I truly look in the mirror and wonder ‘why.’
So ~ the question boils down to what can I do? Well, yes I am disabled. As the title also reads “yet abled.” I am able to continue to put my faith in Jesus. I am able to worship His name and call on Him for the comfort I need through these emotional dark moments. I am able to witness to others how great our God is with the disabilities as a part of my life. I am able to share my experiences with you praying that it may touch at least one of you. Yes, I am disabled but definitely abled as well! Remember Phil. 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.”
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
In The Midst of The Storm
It has been approximately six weeks since I have written. I am happy to be back. Ever notice how much life is planned out and looks great on a piece of paper ~ that is, until life happens. I have been staying in Florida to take care of my mother since January of 2011 and visiting my husband once every 3 months for a week or so. A week before I planned to travel home for 3 weeks this time, my mother fell and fractured her pelvis bones. I camped in the hospital for 5 days and nights with her and was able to rest and pack once she was moved to rehab. She was doing better so I continued my trip as planned to make my own doctor appointments. Within the time frame she went home and almost fell again ~ the results were her being so dependent on someone physically that my next visit would be to pack up all of my belongings and move back home. At the same time I got back from Florida with everything to finally unpack, the exact same day my son, his wife and two children moved in as well. He had gotten laid off and things had gotten bad quickly. At this point there are 4 adults, 2 kids and 3 dogs under the same roof. The mere fact that I haven’t gone to jail within the last 3 weeks has been proof that God truly exists and how wonderful His grace is! 🙂
I am facing many storms right now as you are too. We had not had the chance to start saving for whenever I came home for good so how we are going to make ends meet is all in God’s hands. The haunting sadness that I had to leave my mother in someone else’s hands due to my own limitations and that she is slowly drifting away; being the ‘strong’ mother for my son and his family while they face their trials ~ yes, we all have our storms we are facing every day.
Am I afraid? Sometimes, yes. The good part is that it’s ok to be afraid. In the Bible, and I’m paraphrasing here, we are told that when we are afraid to trust in Him; not if but when. Peter was walking on water with Jesus in the storm and was fine until he became afraid and it was then he started sinking. The reason was he took his eyes off of Jesus. He is our beacon in the darkest of storms that will guide our paths.
I want to urge you all, along with myself, to keep your eyes on Jesus throughout all of your storms. He is the Lighthouse!
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home…
In One Moment
The holiday season is here and everyone is rushing all about trying to find the perfect gifts for everyone. Happiness tends to drift in the air as lightly and gently as snowflakes and in most cases, continuing to layer only to add to the feelings of the holidays. At least that’s the way we picture it and for most of us it is a happy time of the year ~ but not for all.
My heart is heavy tonight as I think of the tragic death of Paul Walker and his friend. I intentionally leave it as ‘his friend’ because that is what you will find in the media. The continuous efforts of Paul Walker to give to the needy, especially those victims of natural disasters, shall never be forgotten. His friend ~ even though we haven’t read a lot about his contribution to the world while he was here ~ was just as valuable, we all are. Some people are famous while others are the backbone of what keeps everyone going. Then again, even that can change quickly ~ in one moment.
In one moment someone can go from poor to rich (lottery) or from rich to poor. In one moment another death is added to the statistics and another life is brought into this world. In one moment you can say something that slaughters even the hardest of hearts. In another moment you can say something that mends the deepest of wounds. We all go through our lives moment by moment, taking for granted that there will be another; not considering how much of a difference we could be making for someone else. God did not give us another day to live for ourselves; we are given another day to be here for someone else.
Do you stay so busy you aren’t having much time to pray or read the Word? If so, you’re busier than God intended you to be. Remember, we celebrate the holiday “Christmas” as the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ our Lord. Throughout this holiday season try not to rush so much that your moments don’t count. Be a blessing with your actions and your words. Make every moment of your life meaningful.
~ In Memory of Paul Walker ~
Thank you for making your moments meaningful for others.
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
Signs of Life
God has blessed me with His grace but left me out with grace walking in high heels. OK, so not just high heels, more like walking itself. My parents even found out it would be cheaper to buy me a pair of crutches when I was young. Unfortunately, sprained and broken ankles followed me into my adulthood as well. If nothing else I learned the one fact about pain ~ it reminds you that you are alive! Even emotional pain reminds you of this. Many times we get our heart broken and don’t feel we can go forward. When we take a moment to look back in time though we realize we obviously found a way. There’s always good that comes from pain. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? If someone hurts your feelings at least it shows you have a heart that is caring and loving. That in itself is a sign of life.
Remember when our children started walking and got many bumps and bruises, and it was up to us to ‘kiss and make better’ and yet we encourage them not to give up and keep trying. That lesson we teach them is the hardest to apply in life. The bruises will go away. The one saying we’re used to hearing is to take life one day at a time, one step at a time. Again, go back to an infant learning to walk. Part of walking is falling. Take that concept and bring it into your adult life. You’re going to fall, you’re going to get hurt, and that is life. There will be pain in your life and tears. These are all signs of life.
The wonderful part is that Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted. When we become saved, we are born again ~ once again learning to walk. As Christians we will fall, we will hurt, we will be hurt, we will have tears ~ we also have Jesus to turn to for our healing just like our parents were there for us, and we are there for our children. Remember, this is God the Father. As long as we keep getting up each time we fall, there’s always a sign of life.
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
Dress for Success
I recall reading the book “Dress for Success” back in the late 80’s with instructions on dressing for success in the business world. Everything from the length of your skirts to your fingernails was covered. One thing that I read in the book that really stuck in my pea brain was what was known as “power” colors – black and red. I guess there was a definite need for books on dressing for the corporate world just as there are for etiquette.
When I first became a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant my nightmare started in building my dream. I was to wear dresses or skirts. I am such a tomboy that the only time my husband had seen me in a dress was on our wedding day, at least until Mary Kay came into my life. It was the best decision I had made. Within a few short days, I started becoming the woman I wanted to be without knowing that was my dream. In fact, my husband told me I went through the “Miss Congeniality” transformation overnight! J One thing that was suggested through the years of success by Mary Kay Ashe was to dress for business even when you’re working at home. Sure enough, it does affect how much you get done, your focus, and even affects your conversation while you’re on the phone. I am so grateful for that suggestion – especially today.
It is hard to dress for more than lounging around while taking care of my mother. Usually my day consists of staying inside and no company. Her house is out in the country, so any occasional visitors are family. I knew I needed to get back to writing and remembered the simple suggestion of getting dressed for work even in your home. I sprang up, got a shower and got dressed for work. Writing may not include the same dress as Mary Kay did, but sitting around in lounging outfits had made me want to do just that – lounge around.
As I was getting dressed, and all of these thoughts ran through my mind, I thought of dressing for success as Christians. In Ephesians, we are told all about the armor of God and to wear it daily. So, in our everyday terminology let’s break it down. Are you dressed in God’s armor? Carrying His sword, etc.? As always, I’m going to go another layer deeper. Everyone can picture this outfit (armor). So what about the bling? Ladies, you know what I’m talking about! Guys, you accessorize as well. J In this instance, our accessories are things like our attitude; are we forgiving; are we positive, and that list you can finish without me. The deepest layer ~ are you wearing Jesus? Can someone look at you ~ everything from how you dress, your eyes, your conversation down to your smile ~ and see that Jesus is first and foremost in your life? Can they see Him at all or do you save that face just for church time?
In closing, I urge you to not only make sure you are wearing God’s armor in your daily life, but to accessorize with His Son.
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
Proof of Faith
Day by day we encounter the unexpected, otherwise known as life. The budget looks great on paper, until…; the trip was going smoothly until…; break it down even smaller, the day was going great, until… Yes, life happens and we are never 100% prepared no matter how hard we try. Those who live with faith in God tend to handle these times a little better than those who try it on their own. Then again, remember most of us have learned by trying on our own to have that faith.
Is there proof that faith in God really helps? Look in the scriptures. Noah was told to build an ark when there was a serious drought going on. By having faith and obedience in God he did and was saved from the flood. Moses was at the Red Sea with armies chasing to slaughter all of them. Through obedience and faith he raised his staff as instructed and the seas were parted. Abraham just packed everything up and left not knowing where he was going to go but had faith in God that all provisions would be taken care of. Serious paraphrasing here ~ Jesus does tell us that if he would take care of a sparrow’s needs, don’t we think we’re more valuable than that sparrow to him?
Now it’s time to take a look at ourselves. When we encounter an until…do you panic? Do you worry? Do you immediately pray or do you take it on yourself and then if you can’t work it out, then pray? Most of us fit into the latter category. We always tend to want to be in control and just jump in and take care of it, no matter what it is. How many times do you stop and pray for guidance before you do?
In closing, my thought/question for the day is ~ do live your life with faith in God or just claim you have faith in Him? Can others who know you see this faith as they could with Abraham? Does your life show others proof of faith? Always remember, the way you live your life is a testimony to others.
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
Time Out
Now since the feast is over, kitchens are once again clean, and refrigerators are stuffed with leftovers it’s over, right? Well, it’s just beginning! After the long hours of preparation and cleaning many went mad with shopping – the Black Friday sales!! Ha ~ after spending your day being thankful for all you have only to run out and stomp over people to get something you don’t have. Today everyone is still shopping for the sales and what might be leftover from last night. This is not even including family that is still visiting and/or stopping by. The next few days will be watching football. If you notice in that game, at least the coaches know when to call a time out for the players to regroup and get a good strategy going. Do you call ‘time out’?
In this fast-paced, highly competitive world we live in people have forgotten the most valuable commodity of life – time. It is the one thing you can never get back, once the moment has passed it’s gone only to be a memory. Right now in my life I am staying with my mother in Florida to take care of her and visiting my husband and doggies once every 3 months. In more ways than one have I learned the value of time. As we hit the adult years busy with our own lives and growing up we forget that somewhere along the line our parents were also growing older. When I came down I didn’t expect it to be this hard either. Spending every day watching someone slowly drift away wondering where all the time went. On the flip side, you really appreciate the time with your spouse and being able to see them daily. So, going from 24/7 caregiver to wife back to caregiver, repeat ~ survival requires prayer and asking God for strength and one more thing – an occasional time out.
Some of you can relate to what I’m doing and others can relate between kids, spouses, jobs, housework, etc. STOP!!! Take some time for yourself. For some it’s hard and I have had to learn it myself. Now though, I truly enjoy it. Just for a few hours if nothing else I take time out for me. Also, if you don’t you will not be good for others.
God instructed us to take time to rest. If He rested on the seventh day don’t you think we need to? We are not created to be able to continually go without this rest. We are also told to take time out to talk to God and be in His Word. Is that on your list of things-to-do? If not, re-work your schedule. Make the time in your daily routine to spend with Him. Life truly is better when you do!
In closing ~ you’ve taken the time to prepare the feast, entertain family and friends, shop, etc.; make sure to take a time out for yourself for mental and physical rejuvenation. Most importantly, take time out with God.
This is DeVaughn ~ bringing it home.
DeVaughn Rosendahl 